Busting Some Busty Myths

Warning--I don't really WANT to link to this absurdly stupid article on Jezebel because it's, well, absurdly stupid and also INCREDIBLY triggering for anyone with big boobs who has struggled with body image. But, if you want to see it, there it is.

The reason I feel compelled to post about this is that the internet is still chock full of unpleasant and inaccurate stereotypes about having big boobs. These myths are not only damaging and upsetting, but they also really frustrate me because they have such simple solutions. Yes, having big boobs is possibly, but not certainly, a little bit more complicated than having small or average-sized boobs. But every body type has its own challenges and I absolutely do not believe that a busty body type is any harder to dress or live with than any other body type.

If you disagree, or if you want something to link to when you read 126 comments on an article saying how weird and horrible big boobs are, here is a list of the most common complaints about big boobs, and the reasons that I don't buy into them.

"The only thing big boobs get you is unwanted attention from men." 

Sadly, just about everybody will find they get unwanted attention at some point in their life due to some feature or other, or due to absolutely nothing at all. This is an unacceptable phenomenon that we should fight against. And it does not have much to do with breast size. Some women with big boobs get lots of negative attention, others never get any attention (negative or positive) for it. Claiming that harassment follows from bust size is insulting to everyone of every bust size and clouds the real problem--which is harassment.

Big boobs are also not a guarantee of positive attention or any attention at all. They're a single part of a body. Perhaps you have received a lot of attention for having a big bust, or a small bust, but that is not the case for everyone.

"Bras for big boobs are SO EXPENSIVE! It's so annoying!" 

This makes my head explode with frustration. I usually pay about $30-$40 for a bra. When I wore smaller cup sizes, I paid about...wait for it... $30-$40 for a bra. Victoria's Secret bras (which larger-busted women usually avoid like the plague) cost about $40-$50 typically. Yes, if you buy a Freya or Panache or Curvy Kate bra at full price from certain American retailers, it may run you about $70. In a boutique, maybe up to $120 or even more. But that's generally the case for EVERY size.

Brand new bras are widely available on eBay; all you have to do is search "bra" and your size and filter the results to Worldwide. If you're not sure of your size, make sure that returns are accepted and all you're risking is about $10-$15 in shipping costs--still well below the markup you'll pay at a boutique.

Brastop offers many bras at sale prices that convert to about $15-$20, shipping to the US is about $12. They occasionally offer half price international shipping.

What's more, the US Figleaves site has been offering a good number of Panache, Cleo, etc bras at prices no higher, occasionally even lower, than the equivalent UK price. I just bought a brand-new Cleo Marcie for $38. That's the most expensive bra I've bought in a year. Doesn't really hold up to the myth--does it?

For more tips on finding bargain bras in large cup sizes, check out my post "If Your Boobs Are Bigger Than Your Budget".

"Big boobs are hideous/grotesque/absurd/disgusting." 

This commonly repeated trope really, really saddens me. It is simply body dysmorphia, but it is generally not identified as this. One of the worst offenders I've seen is this abhorrent article on The Hairpin (MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING). I could link to more articles like that, but I really don't want to give them more traffic. The only reason I'm mentioning that Hairpin article at all is because a lot of the outraged comments were quite eloquent:

'This totally bugged me too. My breasts look like that, and I'm tired of things like this that make me feel like I'm not supposed to like them or there is something wrong with them that needs correcting.'

'Yeah, this made made me really sad as well. I hated my breasts for years, and it's only been in the past few years that I realized that they're actually kind of awesome and the only reason I thought they looked so shitty was that I was wearing minimizers and sports bras that were two sizes too small. Yeah, it sucks when Cheerios fall into my cleavage at breakfast, and it does mean shopping is a pain, and sometimes I wish they were perkier, but I don't think chopping them off would make me happier. I don't know.'

'Different strokes for different folks - my bf loves my breasts as they are. Does that mean he is weird or abnormal?'

'I don't mind one woman sharing her obviously painful journey of self-acceptance. The body dysmorphia screams out through every line, though, and that is unfortunate. I would think Hairpin might know a little better than to perpetuate the idea that X, Y or C cup is 'normal' and preferable.'

'I too had a woman's body when I was too young to know how to deal with it. I had to deal with boys/men thinking they could treat me in a certain way because I looked like some kind of female fertility goddess when I was 12. I was self conscious and hunched over and hoped no one would notice me. But I'm not so sure that 90% of the girls in my middle and high schools weren't feeling the same way for one reason or another.'

I think those women said it about as well as anyone ever could.

Finally, the last myth I'd like to bust:

"My boobs are a 34E/36DDD/28H/etc and they are SO HUGE!!!!!!"

The reason this upsets me is not necessarily that it's not true (some people in the world do have larger breasts than others, factually speaking) but because of the assumptions it makes about other people. If a women with a particular size finds her size to be large or challenging, I would never deny her right to discuss that feeling, but I question the decision to include a size as though the shock factor of the number or letter will help to get the point across. If a woman of so-and-so size expresses her disgust with the "hugeness" of her boobs, how is a woman with a larger bust size supposed to interpret that? If a woman of so-and-so size expresses her disgust with the "smallness" of her boobs, how is a woman with smaller boobs supposed to interpret that? I understand the impulse to vent about body insecurities, which we all most certainly have, but statements like those just spread misery; they do not diminish it. 

And THAT, my friends, is why I write a blog on lingerie and clothing for bustier women. I would like to think that there will be a growing number of blogs focusing on particular body types and each one's individual joys and challenges. Big boobs, like ANY other body type, are not "normal" or "abnormal", they are simply a fact of life. They need not cause anyone undue physical, emotional, or financial strain.  I hope my blog, and the blogs in my blogroll to the right, will help us all to move towards that goal.