What Freya Has To Offer (Brand Overview)

What is Freya good for? A lot, in fact. I’ve given them a lot of crap in this blog, but it’s silly not to acknowedge their strong points and the fact that they’re the best brand for many people. As part of my section “Starting Points”, I want to go over some of the ups and downs of the brand and hopefully provide direction for those who haven’t tried them before. Since it’s been a couple years since I wore Freya regularly, I’m not quite as updated as I could be on their most recent styles, though I’ve tried many of them in stores. So if you have knowledge that I lack, please add it in the comments!

Freya’s classic balconette are easy to wear, and give good shape for medium-sized boobs and full-on-the-bottom boobs of any size. They also seem to be a good fit for various other shapes but these classic balconettes are often not the best for full-on-top boobs, though it’s possible to make it work.

Freya’s unpadded bras tend to come up higher in the cup, which for larger cup sizes can sometimes feel a bit overwhelming visually. I’m beginning to come around to the fact, though, that the look isn’t bad, there’s just more fabric. It’s actually a bit retro without the pointy shape. Compare my 28J Freya Clarissa to my 28J Panache Confetti to see what I mean—the Freya clearly covers more of my chest, and makes my boobs look bigger, but it still looks cute, just different.

Freya Clarissa, left; Panache Confetti, right.

These higher-cut bras also tend to go hand in hand with higher center gores, but this is more true of the older styles than the newer ones. Some of Freya’s newer styles, like the Trudie and Beau, have center gores that sit a bit lower.

The extra coverage makes Freya bras a bit more reliable than other options, actually. These balconettes will reduce bounce you might get in lower-cut bras while walking around—something that I find embarrassing, so I’ve been reaching for my Clarissa a lot during this heat wave to reduce bounce in warm-weather clothes. The downside of the higher-cut cups is that they will show under low-cut (or in my case, even medium-low-cut) tops. This is actually something that I find cute and flirty for casual situations, but I can see how it would be a bit of a bummer for more serious or businesslike occasions.

One of Freya’s best shapes can be found in the bras modeled after the Antoinette—the Clarissa, Charlotte, Katie, Adele, Lucy, Pippa, and Claudia. 

Antoinette

Clarissa

Claudia

Lucy

Katie

Pippa

All of these bras are discontinued, but you can still occasionally find them, especially the Antoinette, on eBay. The shape given by this bra is very round. Full-on-tops may need to size up or the top edge will cut in. I’m personally not sure which newer Freya bras, if any, follow this model, but I haven’t tried any on in shops that are identical. (I find myself wondering if the current Daphne style is similar?) Because these bras have the same fabric on all three parts of the cup, I find that they remain flattering even in the biggest cup sizes, whereas the bras with lacy upper sections sometimes grow unflattering as the cups grow.

The balconettes with the upper lace section (Pollyanna, Estelle, Latisha, Nancy, Faye, Edith, Luisa, Naomi, etc) are a very similar fit to the Antoinette-esque shapes for full-on-bottoms and will give a similarly good shape. 

Latisha

Naomi

Estelle

Pollyanna

These styles are also generally more forgiving for full-on-tops because the lace has a tiny bit of stretch, so sizing up may not be necessary. The Zara, Tara and Beau bras with the stripes instead of lace also fit fairly similarly to these, in my experience. 

Zara

Tara

Beau

When I tried the Sadie, it also gave a similar shape though the upper section is mesh rather than lace. This one reminds me of their older Mimi style, with a butterfly pattern, from way back when. The Mimi gave excellent shape, so I'm happy they've revived it. If you liked the Mimi, you may also like the Sadie!

Sadie

Mimi

The older Greta was also similar and was one of my favorite bras at the time that I owned it. 

Greta

The Lauren is yet another style that fits similarly. 

Lauren

In my opinion, the biggest drawback to these upper-lace-section styles and the similar designs is that they have a tendency to look less flattering on bigger cup sizes, in contrast to certain Panache balconettes and the Curvy Kate Showgirl bras, which tend to look fairly similar across sizes. Because the lace on these Freya bras is usually a different color or texture, and that section gets expanded hugely in the bigger sizes, it tends to maximize the appearance of your boobs if you are just looking in a mirror with the bra on. Obviously not everyone will care about this, but it was always a big disappointment for me when I saw how different my bras looked from how they looked on the model. Because of this, in my Freya heydey I tended to prefer to seek out the styles that had the same fabric all over the cup. I want to note that the Lauren, although it looks sort of like the same fabric all over the cup, actually isn’t—the texture isn’t continued on the upper section, and I found it looked a bit silly on my larger size because of that. (I’ve seen it looking beautiful on others of a similar size, though, so maybe the style just didn’t suit me for other reasons.)

Another category of Freya bra is their padded half-cups. A lot of their balconettes come with a padded half-cup version that has three vertical sections on the bottom and an upper section, but since the sizing is much more limited, I've never been able to try one. They seem pretty promising for those who can fit them.

Padded Half-Cup Naomi

Padded Half-cup Lauren

Then there is the Arabella bra and its knockoffs—Lyla and Eleanor. These bras are sheer in the smaller cup sizes and have only a sheer upper section in the larger cup sizes. 

Arabella

Eleanor

Lyla

There are also some semi-sheer bras that are similar in shape, such as Eloise, Roxanne, Nina, Halle, and Alexa.

Roxanne

Alexa

Eloise

Nina

Halle

The Arabella and the bras like it often don't work as well for full-on-top boobs because the upper section is just too tight and tends to cut in unless you size up. Those whose boobs are fuller on the bottom, though, however, will get a really nice, perky, uplifted shape in these.

The Jolie bra is fuller-coverage and the cups go up higher towards the straps. It is popular among those who wear it as a basic bra and it has come in some pretty cute colors over the years, some of which you can still find on sale. I’ve never tried it myself, but I have heard from others that the band can run a bit big.

 Jolie

Finally, the Deco family is one of Freya’s strongest offerings. This may be the bra with the most universal popularity in the D+ community.

Deco

Frida

Lydia

Carly 

Taylor

The regular Deco bras run about a cup size big, as do the Frida and Lydia versions, but the other versions (Carly, Crystal, Taylor, Ashlee) run truer to size, so a bit smaller than the regular Deco. The Deco also has a frustratingly limited size range. It only goes up to a GG, and it seems like everyone who wears a size above that just tries to cram themself in, or buys a bigger band size and takes in the band. Personally, I would hope to see the Deco developed up to a J, but I don’t see much action from Freya towards this. The massive fanfare surrounding the addition of the 28GG (ONE more cup size in ONE band size) proves that any sizing changes for the Deco are probably going to be miniscule and rare, which is really a shame. I’m lucky enough to actually fit perfectly in a 30GG Deco even though I usually wear a 28HH/28J, but I know many people who would really benefit from expanded sizes (and I’d probably get a 28H if they made one. Decos are almost always full price, rarely go on sale, and the colors do tend to sell out; if you want one, you typically have to invest. They are also subject to some tearing of the foam cups near the center gore after lots of wear. The bands are very well made, though, and don’t seem to stretch out much even with daily wear. These bras will typically give a lot of cleavage, which can be good or bad depending on what you’re looking for.

It’s good to know that Freya bras sometimes get a bit dodgy after HH cup, when they do go up that high. The underwires get weak, the whole structure seems off. This is especially true in their recent Nieve balconette style, which is the same as the current Edina. (The Nieve and Edina longline styles are more like the padded half-cups I mentioned above.)

Nieve balconette

Edina

I have tried both of these bras and found that they gave a pretty good shape, similar to the shape given by the upper-lace-section styles. I liked the Edina better than the Nieve but I agreed with the general feeling that they weren’t the strongest bras nor the most supportive for higher cup sizes.

In general, though, Freya doesn’t really make any bras that are actually dowdy, and it’s pretty simple to see if the cup is too small (unlike Curvy Kate, where it is the shape that indicates whether you’re in the right size, as I’ll write about in a later post). So even if you don’t get your Freya fit spot on at first, you still won’t feel like a granny or hate yourself. For this reason Freya is probably the best starter brand and should be investigated by anyone who has just learned their size. The sizing is relatively similar between Freya and Panache, so it’s pretty easy to move between the two. The biggest difference in terms of fit is that Freya center gores are generally narrow while Panache center gores are generally wide. Freya is a better option for closer-set boobs.

Freya bras are a often harder to find at sale price than Panache or Curvy Kate. Leia Lingerie’s Outlet section is the best source for sales, and their regular section has one of the best selections of current-season styles. For those not in the UK, Figleaves tends to stock current Freya styles, and in the US you can sometimes find them at Nordstrom.

Of course many of the bras I've written about have subtle differences that will cause them to fit people in different ways, but I still hope this can at least serve as a starting point to send people in the right direction. I've also been unable to include anywhere near every bra Freya has made, but hopefully seeing which bras are similar will be helpful. 

30 and Below Bra Band Project!

Hi there readers! I've teamed up with the wonderful bloggers Boosaurus, By Baby's Rules, Braless in Brasil, and StackDD to help raise awareness for the existence of a large market for band sizes 30, 28, 26, or smaller. Braless in Brasil's recent study proves that likely more than HALF of all women (in all weight ranges) may need a 30-inch band or below. Yet 30 and 28 bands are still rare and difficult to find, and 26 bands hardly exist at all! To try to shake things up, we're going to compile a collage of photos proving that women wearing 30 bands and below are common and look just like many of the women we see in our everyday lives.

At the bottom of this post, you will find a submission form. You can submit straight from here! We will crop faces out of the photos that include them, so you do not need to worry about being recognized. You can also submit a photo that is already cropped or taken from the neck down. Feel free to wear clothing (preferably something that still shows your figure) or lingerie, just no nudity please. Note that the form asks for a "path address." This means you can send us a link if the photo you'd like to use is already hosted on a public forum, like your blog, a public flickr, tumblr, or a public Facebook album. If not, just include your email address and email us a photo! (We expect lots of people will take the email route.)

Here's the "official" blurb that we are all including on our blogs!

"Recently at the Curve Expos in both New York and Las Vegas, brands that cater to large-busted women suggested that 30 bands and under were either for juniors, or that there was no market for them.  However, that is simply not the case. There are many women out there who need 30 bands and under, and we are not all juniors.  While we come in all different shapes and sizes, we all have a small back size in common. 

To prove that we are not all juniors and that we exist as a market, we have decided to create the Bra Band Project where we are looking for photos of women who wear 30 bands or under. We will make a flickr album and eventually a collage with our photos to show that we are not just juniors, but women of all shapes and sizes that need small bands.

We'd love your help, so please submit your own photo and band size using the form below or email it to brabandproject@gmail.com.  Note we need both your bra size and your photo. We cannot include a submission without both of those. If you are a blogger who would like to help out with this project email us at brabandproject@gmail.com."

Adventures in Showgirl: Curvy Kate's "Thrill Me" and "Tease Me"

I already positively reviewed Curvy Kate’s Tease Me bra, but since I owned it in the rather outdated size of 30H, I decided to update my collection recently with a couple of 28Js—two Tease Mes and a Thrill Me. The past-season colorways are still available for good prices on Brastop and Lovebras, plus if you’re in the UK you can find them in certain sizes on Amazon for good prices.

The fit is pretty similar between the two styles of bra, but to be honest I have always had a bit more trouble fitting into the Thrill Me (the one with ruffles). It doesn’t exactly run smaller, this is down to very subtle differences in shape, and most people who have tried both seem to have one or the other that they prefer.

With both these Showgirl styles, I always find it a bit of a wiggle to fit into it at first. Most people like to size up in Showgirl, but since I already wear the biggest size in this range, I can’t. Plus, after a few days’ wear, these bras seem to loosen up a bit and fit me better. However, I still do need to re-adjust a couple times a day. The reason I put up with that is the superior shape offered by the construction of the cup. They are fairly low-cut bras, but with a much higher gore than plunge bras like the Freya Deco, so it’s a balance that I love—they show more skin, but less cleavage. (Still more cleavage than I get in my normal unpadded bras, don’t get me wrong, just not as much as I get in the Deco.)

One hilarious and depressing thing I discovered this winter was the fact that when it’s cold and windy, my boobs go numb (which HURTS) unless I wear a padded bra. So I bought these Showgirl bras to wear as normal, everyday bras, and they do work for that—depending on the clothes you wear them with. The Thrill Me, since it has ruffles, is only suitable for wear under a double layer of tight clothes (ie cami and stretchy top) or something tight and thick-knit like a form-fitting sweater. I also personally wouldn’t wear the Tease Me under anything other than a double layer of tight clothes, just because A. that’s really all I wear and B. because my boobs are full on top, I like to have something holding me down where these bras don’t cover.

I LOVE the back bands on these bras. This is a big deal for me; I hate the back band on every other bra I own! The bands on the Showgirls have a firm stretch all over—they don’t have that pesky tighter strip of elastic, enemy of back fat, on the bottom of the band. A lot of people find that they prefer to go down a band size in Showgirl bras to get a firmer fit, but I’ve never found this. I think the reason it works for me in my normal band size is that it’s a little wider (3 hooks, yay!) and situated a tiny bit lower on the cups than many other bras, so it sits a bit lower on my back, where my ribs are. My ribs are a little bigger than my underbust, so the 28 band works well for me even if it is a tiny bit more stretchy than your normal band. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend that people go down a band size; I’d say only if you’re between sizes or like a really tight band. I would, however, recommend that you try going up a cup size if your boobs are full on the bottom—there is very little volume in the bottom section of these cups.

Now, when I got my ivory/black Thrill Me from Amazon, it wasn’t exactly the most perfect bra I’ve ever seen. Notice anything odd?

The ribbon was missing from one side! At first I planned to return it as faulty, but it had been the last one available in my size, it was very cheap, plus I realized if I sent it back they would probably just throw it out. So I decided to just put in a ribbon and sew it into the corners. I actually used the ribbon from the long bow on my worn-out ivory Panache Confetti, since it was the right color and width.

This wasn’t the only issue with my Thrill Me, though. As a much older colorway, the ivory/black is fabled to run almost a cup size larger than other colorways made at the same time. This manifested itself in an odd way—I got a lot of gaping, something that has never happened to me before.

But I figured this would be an easy fix, too—the ribbons going across the cups (one of which I had just added) simply needed to be tightened a bit. I just pulled them a bit tighter, folded them at the upper corner, and stitched the fold into place.

And voila! The gaping was much improved.

I still feel, in general, that this specific Thrill Me (perhaps the colorway, or perhaps just this one lonely faulty one I happen to own) isn’t as reliable as my Tease Mes. The Tease Me lacks the ruffles that makes the Thrill Me a bit tricky to wear, and I find it a bit more basic and workable in general. But BOTH styles suffer from a design flaw—the part of the band that runs under the cups in front has a very sharp, stiff edging, which rolls in toward my body and cuts in horribly, to the point of shooting pains. I eventually decided it wasn’t worth it to put up with this in hopes that it would stop happening once I’d broken in the bras, so I decided to try a quick fix. I simply rolled the edging up and out, so it folds towards the outside, and stitched it in place. I imagine if I’d spend a bit more time, I could have made this look a bit nicer than the sloppy way I did it…

But hey, compare the before…

…to the after!

The sharp edging is now nowhere near my skin and the bras are wearable.

Now, it may sound like I’ve had to do so much work on these bras that they aren’t worth buying. But don’t worry! All of these alterations were quick fixes, took less than ten minutes, didn’t require any materials other than needle and thread, and can be easily undone with no damage to the bra if I should decide to re-sell them used later (unlike my alterations on the Princess). Plus, the fix I did on the edging under the cups is something that not everyone will need to do, as not everyone has a problem with the edging rolling in towards them. It just depends on your body and how you move. But it is a very easy fix for anyone who loves the Thrill Me/Tease Me and wants to make it a bit more wearable for everyday.

One last note, I wanted to try to show you what the true color of the Silver/Back Tease Me is. It's another of those bras that seems to look different in every photo (sometimes it's indistinguishable from the Lemon/Black, the Almond/Black, or even the Pink/Black). This was my best attempt to capture the color on camera, but it's still less pink-toned than this in real life--more gray than shiny silver, which is what I'd wanted. You can also see that the alteration, even though I did it a bit haphazardly, isn't very noticeable when you see the whole bra!

BiuBiu "Etna" Review

I’ve known about BiuBiu ever since Thin and Curvy wrote her original post about their clothing, and I’ve also seen glowing reviews from FullerFigureFullerBust and Sophia Jenner. I’ve often looked at BiuBiu's website and lusted over the adorable styles, especially their tops.

But I never tried BiuBiu before because, strange as it may sound, I actually don’t struggle that much to find clothes I can wear in normal stores. I think that’s mostly due to the fact that I don’t mind showing off my lumps and bumps in stretchy knit clothes—it’s woven styles, and fancier or more professional looks, that are often harder to find for curvy bodies on the high street. I’ll do more posts in the future, though, on my tricks for finagling a fit in mainstream stores.

I decided to try BiuBiu, though, when I saw their Etna top. It’s an empire-waist babydoll top, which means it is one of the several styles that I would never be able to find in normal stores: the “designated boob room” top. I loved the Etna, so I followed the size chart on their website and ordered it in a 36 BB/BBB. Behold:

BiuBiu Etna

BiuBiu Etna side view with belt

I love the ¾ length sleeves—I consider it one of the most flattering sleeve lengths, because it draws the eye to the waist. I also really like the colors and the neckline is a perfect depth—as low-cut as it could be without becoming too cleavage-y.

One thing to know, though, is that you probably will need to wear a waist belt with the Etna top. A few people I know who have tried it said that without a belt, it bagged over their stomach, giving them a pregnant look. I actually found that mine mostly bagged in the back, but either way a belt really helps make the look more flattering. Although it looks fine from the front for a more relaxed, casual style, I think the belt makes a big difference to the side view.

Etna without a belt.

I actually hardly ever wear waist belts—because I have SUCH a short torso, they often end up showing off the wideness of my hips, rather than the narrowness of my waist (plus my waist doesn’t look that narrow from the front anyway). But, because of the more relaxed cut of the bottom part of the Etna, I found the waist belt was very flattering. Unfortunately, I’ve found I need to pull the top down a lot because the empire seam keeps moving up to show above the belt, a look that isn’t ideal. I’m going to need to find a way to secure the belt to the top; perhaps a snap affixing it to the back of the top. However, I should clarify that this isn’t a fault with the top; it’s because the boob section is a TINY bit too small for me. I knew when I ordered that I was a little bit outside the listed measurements for 36BBB, but it’s still a good fit; it’s just that the top doesn’t QUITE have enough space to traverse my boobs and reach where the belt should be. I’m hopefully that adding the snap will fix this minor issue. Even if it doesn’t,  I like the top enough that I don’t mind pulling it down every hour.

I’m not used to wearing clothes that are cut for my bust (like BiuBiu or Pepperberry) so when I do, I’m often startled at how they show off my boobs. That is, they make my boobs look the size they are: big. It’s a bit of an adjustment but hey, I can’t ALWAYS hide my shape in high street clothes. I did find that when I first tried the Etna, my boobs visibly hung over the waist belt. You can see that more in this photo.

The effect was lessened by changing into my 28HH Cleo Lucy, which gives me more lift than any of my other unpadded bras. It also worked well with a Curvy Kate Tease Me, but unfortunately the ribbons showed through the top, as seen below, so that may not be a feasible option. (I continue to long for a nude lace Tease Me. Ultimate Dream.)

In my opinion, it looks longer on the model on the website than it is in real life—I was expecting it to be nearing dress-length on my short torso. But I actually prefer this length, because it’s long enough to wear with leggings, but short enough to wear with a short skirt in the summer.

My only other annoyance with this top is that I wish they hadn’t continued the yellow spots on the upper section. On my right side, the shape they form makes it look a bit like pincers are groping my boob from below. From what I can tell though, the shape the pattern takes on the upper part of the top is more or less random, so not everyone will have this issue.

For me, the greatest measure of whether I like an item is whether I am willing to overlook its small flaws. As you might have noticed from my blog, I am pretty picky and small details can really ruin my opinion of a garment! But with my Etna top, I find I am really happy with it, even though there are a few details that could be better. BiuBiu really impresses me as a company, I would recommend their clothes to a friend, and I will most likely order from them many more times in the future. 

How To Talk To Busty Women About Their Boobs

I am a big believer in compliments. We all take what we can get, so we shouldn’t be stingy with what we give. I really think that if you like anything about a person—their dress, their shoes, their eyes, their body, their laugh, their personality—you should most certainly tell them right away. But this can get a bit thorny when it comes to specific body parts, such as boobs, because we all have a fair amount of cultural baggage about the topic. I think when compliments go awry, seem backhanded, or sound creepy, the results can actually end up increasing the insecurity of busty women who are struggling to come to terms with their bodies. I don’t think the right answer is to avoid mentioning boobs at all. A more generic compliment will never go amiss, but I know from experience that it can be confusing if no one ever mentions the feature that seems most dramatic, especially for teenagers. So I thought I would compile a list of pointers, based on my experiences of what works and what doesn’t work.

I want to make it very clear that I am writing this with the assumption that you are talking about big boobs with your friend, not a stranger or someone you are romantically pursuing. If it is either of the latter, you should probably ask yourself why you are talking to this person you hardly know about her boobs. No matter how you treat the topic, bringing up a specific body part with someone you don’t know well is likely to come off as rude and/or threatening. Stick to the nonspecific: “You look great.” For complimenting a stranger, “You are beautiful” is probably one of the less threatening phrases you can choose.

Here are my tips for broaching the subject with a friend.

-Do NOT assume that just because a woman has big boobs, she is confident. A lot of times, it is the opposite. It is also kind of awkward to say you’re jealous if you’re a female and have smaller boobs than your friend. You may think it sounds like a compliment, but depending on her size and your size, she may be jealous of you for not having to find a tricky size and clothes to fit, or simply because she may prefer your appearance. This is a discussion that can be had, and both parties should be careful not to deny the other’s experience. In the same way, if you are decidedly NOT jealous of your bustier friend, be careful about how you bring that up; busty women, like all women, do not have a magical confidence shield that makes them impervious to insults.

-It’s better to use terms that refer to glory rather than size. Terms like “massive”, “enormous”, and “huge” may sound like simple facts, but they also have subtle connotations that can really embarrass someone you’re trying to compliment. Saying something is “big” is not the same as saying that it is “good”. Better words: “awesome”, “epic”, “amazing”.

-If you do want to talk to your friend about the size of her boobs, depending on your relationship that is probably okay, but make sure to put her at ease by prefacing the discussion with a compliment. Otherwise she may feel as though she is being dissected and examined.

-Some women will be happy to discuss their body if the topic is approached in a way that makes them feel comfortable, but others just don’t want to talk about their boobs no matter what. If you pick up on signs of that, it’s best to move on to a new topic. 

-The majority of busty women do NOT want you to grab their boobs even in the course of a scientific discussion of them. Some women will be fine with it, and in certain friend groups it is normal and affectionate, but this is one of the most common complaints I’ve heard from my friends who have big boobs. Just because they are big does not mean that boobs are public property. It’s her body, so follow her lead.

-It comes off as kind of weird if you ask to see what her bra looks like when it’s off her. If you’re genuinely curious about the physics and construction of it, okay, but if you want to see it just to laugh at how silly it looks, keep in mind that this is a bit insulting. Wearing bras on your head is only permissible when the owner of the bra starts it.

-If you DO see her bra lying around with the laundry and you are a smaller-busted female friend, or a male friend who has mostly seen smaller bras, try hard not to express shock or hilarity at how large the bra looks to you. Bear in mind that when she sees your bras, she is equally likely to find them absurd and laughable yet she probably (hopefully) refrains from saying anything about it. We are all just used to seeing bras in our own size so other sizes look kind of funny and bizarre, and I think this is something that is best left unsaid on all sides of the equation. Once again, it’s better to stick to “cute” rather than “huge” or “tiny”.

-My final tip is to remember the old cliché, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Big boobs aren’t everyone’s favorite thing, obviously, but if what you want to say to your busty friend isn’t a compliment, it’s better to avoid the topic altogether. But if you DO like your friend’s body, I think it’s really great to say so, especially if she is insecure or hasn’t heard it a lot. 

Panache "Harmony" Review

I realize that awhile back, I promised a commenter that I would do a review of the Panache Harmony, and then I forgot—sorry! I know I’ve mentioned the Harmony a lot in this blog, and it’s one of the most widely available bras in sales and on eBay, so it makes sense that I should say a few words about it. It’s also the bra that I’ve worn the most often and know the best. I don’t wear the Harmony anymore but it served a crucial purpose for me for over a year of my life.

I actually bought the Harmony the first time I ever got fitted, but I didn’t wear it much because it really minimized my boobs, plus it tended to start cutting in throughout the day. But remember my late-onset boob-hatred that I mentioned in my last post? As soon as that struck, I went running into the arms of the Harmony. The reason it had cut in wasn’t that it was too small, but because it is designed for wider-set boobs than mine, which are quite close together, so it pulled to the sides over the course of a day. Once I learned how to alter the center gore, I made the Harmony mine.

When I reunited with my best friend after my switch from Freya to the Panache Harmony, she said in surprise “What are you wearing that makes your boobs look so small?” I think most of what I was “wearing” was a terribly hunched-over posture, but the Harmony soothed me enough to keep me in my body for those months when all I wanted to do was escape out of it and run away from my boobs.

This brings me to the primary function of the Harmony. It really helps if you hate feeling huge and just want to look more average. I know a lot of people never want to make their boobs look smaller, but if you do, please try this bra. The construction of it really makes your boobs very compact and in my experience, makes them look smaller than anything else will, and that’s what I would recommend this bra for.

To explain what I mean about the construction, think about the “apex” of a bra, the point furthest away from your chest. When people say that cups have more “depth”, they are saying that the apex is further away, so you will get more projection. In contrast, the Harmony has an apex that is a lot closer to the chest, so your boobs get much less projection than you’d get in, say, a Freya balconette. The tissue is even distributed as close to your body as possible without any constriction (of the type you might get in a compression sports bra—not too healthy for long periods). Because of the distribution and lack of depth, the underwires on the Harmony, as with any bra without much depth, have to be wider so there is somewhere for the tissue to go. Wide underwires aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, but they shouldn’t hurt if you bend them to your shape.

This bra is fairly high under the armpits, which is good if you are trying to deal with tissue migration, but not so super if you are petite and have problems with bras rubbing your armpits.

For my full-on-top boobs, the Harmony is a great fit once I’ve altered the center gore, because it is so low-cut and so open on top. The rose-patterned lace that forms the upper section might even gape on people with boobs that are full on the bottom, so if you often have problems with gaping, this might be a good bra to try in a size down. Personally, I need a 28J in bras that have a larger or tighter upper section, but I can wear a 28HH in the Harmony, just like I can in the Confetti.

I also really like the way it looks. It’s the furthest thing away from a “sad bra for massive boobs” (phrase cribbed from a review of a different bra on Bravissimo’s website). It’s low-cut and relatively pretty. It used to be available in more colors than you can find it in now, but even in the black, white and nude I think it is a really flattering basic.

It doesn’t give as round a shape as similarly-fitting bras like the Sienna, Brooke, Frances, and Confetti, which is why I don’t really wear the Harmony much anymore. The shape isn’t pointy at all, rather the opposite, it’s just kind of… bra-shaped rather than orb-shaped. (Very difficult to explain.) But I still think of it as one of the best bras that exists. It really got me through a tough couple of years and in the future if I’m looking for a work bra or something plain and nude, that’s where I’ll turn.

I’m sorry that I don’t have good pictures of myself in the Harmony—all my Harmony bras are in the States, so when I get back in June, I’ll add photos to this review. In the meantime, here are three photos I snapped in my dirty mirror last year. Despite the horrible quality, I think you can see what I mean about how small it makes my boobs look in comparison to how they look in a lot of other bras—I’m the same size in these photos as I am now.

This is a 30 band, hence why it's riding up.

I also want to note that the Harmony balconette I’m reviewing here is different from the Harmony full-cup, which looks like this:

The Harmony full-cup is actually pretty good for a full-cup bra, but it’s very different from the balconette, and I personally wouldn’t recommend it as highly (or at all, but then again I hold a grudge against full-cup bras. I know some people like them).

I also want to mention that the Panache Melody is supposedly “based on” the Harmony but actually isn’t really similar at all other than the fact that it, too, gives a fairly minimized shape. The fit is pretty different, though. Check out my review for more information.

Breast Reductions - A Topic Close to the Heart

I read a couple of amazing blog posts this week regarding breast reductions. Check out "The Pressure to Get a Reduction" and "Minimizing Big Breasts: Bras Vs. Breast Reduction Surgery via Slip of a Girl". Reductions are a bit of a hot-button issue for us busty women, with so many different viewpoints and so many possibilities for feelings to get hurt. For this reason, I’ve avoided writing about it until now, even though I spend a lot of time thinking about it. Many women are happy after having reductions, but there are also cases where a proper bra fitting could have produced this same happiness without major surgery.  I also think that a lot of women get reductions ostensibly to deal with back pain, when really what they are dealing with is disgust with their body. I don’t mean to de-legitimize this disgust, but I do want to examine it. The disgust manifests itself in various ways, and is caused by various cultural forces. Although I now believe that this can sometimes be a legitimate reason to get reduction surgery, I wish it was less common as a cause, because I think a lot of the disgust (particularly the part caused by cultural forces) is fixable.

I used to desperately long for a reduction when I was 18-20. My mom was supportive but suggested that I think it over for a couple of years. I am so glad I waited, because I ultimately came to love my boobs, and plan to keep them for life. But much more importantly, I eventually realized that the reasons I had wanted a reduction were all wrong.

It began in my first year of university. After years of being happy with my body, my boob-self-esteem suddenly hit rock bottom. During one conversation with people (mostly females) living in my hall, they crowded around me saying “Oh my God, your boobs are so huge! What size do you wear? Can we look at your bra? Can I touch them? God, they’re just so BIG!” No one in the room said anything like “Your boobs are huge! That’s cool!”  or “Your boobs look good!” I get so mad when I think back on this. It is unacceptably rude to dissect and discuss a single part of someone’s body without at least offering the comfort of a simple compliment. As it was, I ended up feeling like a zoo animal.

In another incident, the best friend of my bitchy roommate purposely walked in on me when I was braless and then ran up and down the hall screaming “You guys, I saw her tits!”

In another conversation, this time with the males living in my hall, each and every one of them declared that big boobs were overrated and lame and they only liked big butts. I didn’t even like these morons but the mere fact that they all happened to have the same preference convinced me that it was universal.

I started to do internet searches of things like “Are big boobs attractive?”, but all that would come up were articles or posts trying to reassure girls with small boobs that their bodies were perfectly attractive, so it did the opposite for me. At that point I had still never heard anyone say “You have a nice body” or even “You have nice boobs”. All I had ever heard was “huge”, “giant”, “massive”.

These factors combined to cause what felt like a deluge of hatred for big boobs from everyone I talked to. I embarked on an overly intense diet to try to make my boobs smaller, adopted a curled-over posture that hid my boobs, and I suddenly couldn’t handle the sight of myself in my old bras.

At this stage, I wanted a reduction because I felt like a monster; my insecurity was verging on body dysmorphia. I thought I would never have a boyfriend because guys seemed to hate big boobs so MUCH. If someone I was pursuing romantically was uninterested, I would immediately assume it was because of my boobs. I wrote in my journal that I did not want to “inflict” the sight of my body on anyone I knew. I never even got catcalls or pervy comments, other than the few distressing incidents I’ve just detailed (mine was the opposite, I suppose, of the stereotypical experience).

These factors were the only reasons I was so disgusted with my body that I wanted a reduction, and once I grew out of my body hatred, I realized my insecurities weren’t founded. There are loads of people, both male and female, who love big boobs or at the very least know how to be polite about the topic—those people just weren’t talking as loudly as the people who treated me like a zoo animal. The most important realization was that I myself am one of those people who like big boobs—I like all boobs, actually. I still feel sad about the fact that no one told me my body was nice when I was young enough that it would have really made a difference to me. But I guess people were trying not to make me feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, the result was the opposite.

Because of my experiences and the fact that I ultimately came to love my body, it really saddens me to read about girls getting reductions when they are as young as 16 or 17 (even younger in some cases). So many of those girls never get the right guidance or the right length of time to properly make a serious choice which is for life. The worst is when women get reductions without ever learning about proper bra sizing—someone who should be in a 30GG will obviously be miserable in a 38DD but lots of women never learn that, and doctors don’t know that.

These considerations were only part of the reason why, after my phase of body hatred passed, I was extremely negative about reductions and believed that practically no one needed one. I’m glad I didn’t write a blog post about the topic back then because my viewpoint has evolved a lot since. I realize that although I was lucky enough to outgrow my disgust with my body, that sadly won’t happen to everyone. The cultural forces that helped remove my disgust with my boobs were just an unpredictable combination of factors, same as the forces that produced the disgust. When my love for my body was fragile and newly-formed, it was hard for me to deal with the idea of reductions because I felt that someone getting one for reasons other than crippling back pain was passing a judgment on MY body. If they wanted smaller boobs because they found their bigger boobs unpleasant, then I felt they must think that my boobs and my body were ugly and disgusting too.

But I realize now that it is unreasonable to reject the suffering of a woman who feels trapped in an alien body just because doing so might be beneficial to MY self-esteem. The bottom line is that it’s not about me. It’s not even about aesthetic standards of beauty, because there is no single aesthetic for what is attractive or acceptable. Feminism is about CHOICE.

A woman who wants smaller boobs can choose to have a reduction, just as a woman who wants bigger boobs can choose to get implants, finances allowing. In the same vein, someone who is attracted to busty women can choose to date busty women, and someone who is attracted to smaller-chested women can choose to date smaller-chested women. Besides, traits like breast size are very rarely foremost in people’s considerations of whom they love or value. None of the choices I have described are directly equivalent to a judgment on “the other” body type. Everyone feels differently and has their own preferences. If one person prefers something different from my body type, it doesn’t mean that everybody feels the same. It’s not a war.